The Wisdom of Wild Oscar
Some people have asked about the background of the man. Actually, Oscar Wilde had a dyslexic brother who wrote in what he thought was his brother's name, and some of this nonsense has been unearthed and can now be shared with the world.
Tourist's Syndrome: A condition in which a holiday guest looks at a menu and at an undetermined moment afterwards bursts into short, uncontrollable yelling.
"You're only young once, but you can be immature forever." (courtesy of Charlie Shaffer)
"I hate using a GPS. When I get lost, I want to know where I am. If I use one, I NEVER know where I am."
"Early to bed, early demise."
"At least when I'm living out of a suitcase, I know where my drawers are."
"It's better to love than to have been married six times."
"A penny saved is a waste of a dime. (There are only nine cents left to spend.)"
"Sometimes I look around public places and wonder, what is this? Planet of the Apps?"
"Welcome to Planet of the Apps: where everyone gets your email except the recipient."
"I couldn't have had better service if I was at a Chalet and Rateaux."
"Youth is wasted on the young, and looks weird on the old."
"If my body renews itself every seven years, I want my money back."
"All work and no play finally gets the job done. Note well: I did not say 'All work and no pay'..."
Books by Wild Oscar:
Rescue Me, Let Me Rescue You
The Chocolate Cake Diet
The Kahoutek Syndrome (with an entire chapter on Richard Bronson)
Achieve Happiness Through Carbohydrates: Debunking the Protein Myth (a history of dieting in the past 60 years)
Planet of the Apps